Day 28 —Highs/lows of this year

I'll be honest. My excitement for my 20th birthday was suddenly plagued with overwhelming fear of the future. I was beyond excited to close out a chapter of my life. I can't tell you how happy I am that the "teenage" years are behind me. But as I realized that that season was over I realized that I was entering a new season and had no idea where I was heading. I become fearful that my life was over. I began telling myself that I'm old. Oh, and of course, the marriage thing came up more than once. Since I'm remain unmarried I must not be worth anything, right? Lies! They're all lies! My life is far from over(Hellooo, I woke up this morning!). 20 years is a long time in comparison to 1 year but it's only 1/5 of 100 years and just a blink of an eye in light of eternity. Old? No, I'm 20 years young. As for marriage...it's obviously not a good thing for me right now. Because if it were, the One who gives GOOD gifts would have given it to me. And since I'm being honest, I'm so not ready for marriage at this point. I am incredibly thankful that the Lord didn't hear my naive cry to be married at 18. Or 19. Or (so far) 20. He continues to shape me & give me opportunity to serve right here, right now. My issue shortly after my birthday was not that I'm not fulfilled as a 20 yr old unmarried woman. My issue was the fact that I took my eyes of Jesus and began lacking direction. As I turned my focus back to Him(instead of myself) I found amazing things. He began showing me great opportunities and laying the ground work for the next year of my life. I know exactly where I'm going now. My hopes and dreams have been rejuvenated by the One who planned them before the foundation of the world. My future lies in Christ alone. I am eternally grateful for that.

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
(As I began to struggle with some of these things my best friend gave me a ring with this verse on it. I don't think she realized how much I needed that verse around my finger when she bought it for me. I love the way God works!)